Been busy what with a new kitchen and recording a CD with my brass band! Oh and the cat has gone walkabout and has been spotted and reported as staying at different houses for a couple of days where she has been fed and cuddled. Very kind but IF they didn`t feed her she would have come home before now...

Horses and Ponies and very little girls

My eldest had her first fall yesterday from a small pony in her weekly lesson. She got back on albeit with a wobbly bottom lip but saved the tears til she got home and says she doesn`t want to go again. Before you start thinking what an awful pushy mum - this is the little girl who nagged continually to ride from the age of 3 for a full year when she had a lesson as a 4th birthday present. The stables will not allow them younger than 4 because of insurance. She has been every single week even when poorly she insisted on going. Its expensive at £15 for a half hour group lesson and we struggle to find that money but she loves it so much. Now at 5 she is just starting to ride without a leader and so fell off at the trot when her pony decided she wanted to join in with another pony which little D`arcy was on (her 3rd lesson - well you have to treat them the same). So the dilemma is do we just make it a good excuse to stop or do we help her over the confidence crisis? Hmmm.

dust...

Dust everywhere today as some kitchen cupboards where ripped out yesterday. A small oasis of calm on the internet away from the demands of cleaning and a lovely 4 year old. I am, I know, one of the luckiest women in the world - a stay at home mum. I know when little one goes to school in september I will feel obliged to find some sort of paid work but this time is bliss even though I have not always appreciated it and felt hard done by. You know the old moans - no money, no time, exhaustion, not feeling valued as a human/woman and feeling 2nd class?
Today in the midst of chaos I begin to sense happiness deep within me - perhaps because this time is drawing to a close...

Husband is away for the weekend and I am looking forward to a peaceful time with the girls especially 7 oclock bedtime... I love time to myself which rarely happens nowadays. Perhaps it would be good to plan my evening rather than fritter the time away. Why is it when I am rushing around my head is full of ideas of things I want to do but when that spare moment comes then the inclination has left?

Simple abundance

Anyone else read the book Simple Abundance by sarah ban breathnach? I enjoy the ideas she explores but find her tone a bit "preachy" and her fussiness slightly patronising. I have so nearly de-cluttered her books several times but there are the odd few pages that sometimes inspire me to have a fresh perspective on life. So they stay for now along with a few other old favourites. I used to love Stuart Wilde`s philosophies on the world and that is one person I would love to meet one day. Now I am playing with the Abraham Hicks set though am finding I lack the discipline to follow through - a pattern of behaviour I am not proud of!
Right! Today is the day I change that so now off to think positive thoughts!
Cheers!

What if and Why?

Heard the sad news yesterday that friends have lost their baby 5 months into the pregnancy and she has to be induced today. Just when you think the danger period is over and you can start looking forward and planning for the new arrival. Had to go to a twin baby funeral last year which was the first time I have seen a burial and that tiny double coffin being lowered into the ground was a haunting memory.
This brings the question of what to say to the devastated parents? Trotting out the old cliches that "time heals" seems woefully inadequate and anyway is it true in these cases? Experiencing the death of your babies is surely something that remains painful for the rest of your life? Then there are the inevitable questions - "what if...?" and the unanswerable - "why?"
Even if there is a faith or belief in the afterlife is it a comfort now? Having worked as a Hypnotherapist the subject of past/future lives is a fascinating subject but one that scares or repels some people. The mother of the Twins did visit a Medium who comforted her because she answered questions unasked and seemed to offer proof of another existence so I suppose regardless of scepticism it worked for her and it would be shabby to doubt the honesty of someone dealing with a vulnerable mother?

Another beautiful rainy day near Portsmouth...
Well time to organise our eating as part of the new "thrifty all singing all dancing lifestyle". the thought of ploughing through recipe books and trying to accommodate the vegetables that come weekly from Riverford along with the knowledge that fussy eaters in our home are just going to go "urghh - can I have cream spaghetti?" is faintly depressing...
Have made one resolution though and that is to make a vegetable cake once a week -Hah! a cunning plan to feed them something healthy disguised as "nice"! Last weeks Chocolate Beetroot Cake was a huge hit - recipe from Green and Blacks Book. Yesterdays Parsnip and Walnut not quite so well received as 1)No chocolate and 2)"Don`t like the bits (Walnuts). Still it is a nice cake and very moist so it will be tried again.
Then I may log onto Flylady and try and get inspired to tidy up a little. The house is not too bad but I find I can spend all day cleaning but then feel guilty that I have not spent enough time with my 4 year old. Am I the only one who also finds it difficult to take a break during the day just for me? Doubt it very much!